Have No Confidence In Yourself? Start HERE!

You should just admit that you are ugly.

Confidence is something that has always been important to me. When a person is not confident, they are destined to fail. Any type of obstacle they run into is a mythical barrier that is impossible to pass. One merely has to think about their experiences in life, their interactions with the public, or view the upcoming generation to see that there is something seriously amiss. Confidence is something not freely given, no magical entity can descend from the heavens and grant someone the confidence they need to succeed; and, to think so is a grave mistake. The purpose of this article is to insult, to degrade, but to capture an easily missed aspect of reality.

 

Life is multifaceted; so don’t be so damn one-dimensional.

In the present day and age, people are so wrapped up in appearances, feelings, over-sensationalized conceptions of self that they fail to see how their personal attributes and choices aren’t up to snuff. Fat, missing portions of their hair, pot-marked skin from acne caused by over eating, smelling like they’ve not showered in weeks, bathing in smelly scents, or failing to adhere to basic grooming standards all leads to this perpetual social decay. One many surmise that if a person outwardly doesn’t appear care about their personal standards, they are confident in themselves. That person can tackle the world with just their personality, but in reality, they are typically terrified of the outside world and how people see them; it’s why they fight their PERCEPTION of the world, and not the people in the world. That person is terrified to admit they don’t have the ability to conform, thus they do the complete opposite, which reveals how unconfident they are. While it’s true there are some who genuinely that style, but the majority don’t. One merely has to speak with some of these people to garnish the idea of how self-loathing, self-hating, and self-hated they hold for themselves. The choice in cloths, style, and appearance is not a depiction of their style; rather, it is an unintentional, honest reflection of their inner turmoil.

Stop fooling yourself.

The best, easiest way for a person to build the confidence they want is to pursue self-actualization. Confidence is a direct product of knowledge and understanding. The more a person knows about a specific topic, the more confident the person is. When a person fails to admit that they are something, the less confident that person will be, as they can’t admit to themselves, let alone anyone else, the truth of who they really are. One can be sure that they will put up a front, but when it comes down to the brass tacks, that person will crumble faster than the French government when German tanks are crossing their trenches. That being said, one must tear down those fronts, admit to themselves who they are, and only then will that person begin to grow. When knowing the self, a person will be able to utilize that knowledge for their own benefit while spreading their weaknesses thin to mitigate negative outcomes.

The only person you hurt by ignoring reality is you.

Embrace the fact that you are not perfect, there are people out there that are much more physically appealing and able to accomplish much more. When considering people who are better off, don’t worry not about the fact that they are in that position, worry about doing what needs to be done to put one’s self into that position. Not all of us are handed everything, for many of us life is hard, it is a struggle from day to day. When faced head on, those times are the times that will give a person the confidence they need to thrive or they will die. That person will lie down and let their own self-pity consume them and I think that’s a positive. We cannot go on letting other’s carry our weight, again, we must learn to fight and strive for the items we want to call our own. There are so many people presently who cry, lie down, and throw temper tantrums when they are not handed things they want as though they deserve them for merely existing. We are here to say if a people want better things in life, the confidence to run their lives, households, relationships, and then they must develop the skillset needed to do so. It’s amazing to be aware of what one is not good at as it gives them the opportunity to identify, isolate, and learn techniques to over come those inadequacies.

You will never get a further in life if your problems own you.

Summarily, reality exists in many different states, but one reality is consistent, and that’s a person’s interaction with the world. People can see themselves in any way they wish, that’s their right. They, however, cannot control other’s reality and perception; we saw how this failed with the election of Donald Trump. No matter how much an alternative reality is forced on a populace, the individual concept of right and wrong will always outweigh that nagging force. So, don’t try to push a false reality on someone as it will just come off as sad, pathetic, and telling off the person’s character. While it may seem so, people aren’t as stupid as one may think, and such a falsity will become rather apparent, quickly. The sad part is, the person attempting to force that lie will know it. They will see their friends, family, and acquaintances and they will know that, despite how hard they try, they will always be mocked, shamed, or laughed at. It will start slowly at first, usually behind their back, but eventually it will be in their face as the horrid truth of their insecurity creeps forth from the recesses of their façade. In the end, they will be left in well of their own inability to act.

 You should just admit that you are ugly.

 Author: Kingfish

Email: Theenigmaticproductions@gmail.com

I want to add that people can email me with questions.
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One thought on “Have No Confidence In Yourself? Start HERE!

  1. Not everyone suffers from lack of confidence simply because they’re physically unattractive. A guy could be 20th percentile in looks, but women are all over him because he acts like he’s in the 95th percentile. A guy could be in the 80th percentile in looks, but a disaster with women because he feels (and therefore acts) like he’s in the 5th percentile. One way or the other, these cycles are usually self-reinforcing.

    It cannot be overstated how incredibly mandatory a manly, dominant personality is for a male. Unfortunately, many intelligent young men are dissuaded from adopting such a personality because they are under the false impression that this means they must adopt the personality of a jock, frat boy, bully, or cocky asshole who vastly overestimates his own intelligence. They look around and see men who are socially and sexually successful, but are also loud, boorish, have an I.Q. around 70. It should come as no surprise that these intelligent young men are underwhelmed and deflated at the prospect that these are the role models that they must adopt in order to find happiness and success.

    Men are told time and time again that the best way to obtain the girl of their dreams is to maximize their physical attractiveness. They must eat an incredibly healthy diet. They must tirelessly physically train and become an elite-class weightlifter. They must grow the manliest of manly beards, shoulder length hair, have $10,000 worth of badass tattoos and ride a Harley. Or perhaps the exact opposite: they need a clean shave, a sharp haircut, and a perfect fitting suit.

    The tragic thing is while all of the above things are good in and of themselves, and can and do certainly make a man more attractive, these changes are never made in isolation, and they can backfire quite spectacularly. How is this? It’s because none of the changes mentioned above address the most important facet of a man’s sexual appeal: His personality. More specifically, whether or not it’s the personality that is usually found in a successful man who has answers to questions, and solutions to problems.

    Let me reiterate that point because it bears repeating: ********** The single most important aspect of a man’s sexual attractiveness is his personality, and whether that personality is *indicative* of a man who is successful, a man who has answers to questions, and a man who has solutions to problems. **********

    The above point needs further clarification still. The key word in that sentence is “indicative”. It’s extremely important to note that a man does *not* need to be successful, to have answers, to have solutions, in order to be attractive. He must simply *indicate* these things through his personality, regardless of whether these things are true or not. This should come as no surprise to intelligent young men. How else can you explain why men are getting laid with harems of women, despite the fact that their appearance is ragged, their intelligence is low, and they might have even neglected to wear deodorant for the past week? The fact of the matter is that personality trumps everything else when it comes to men’s sexual attractiveness. This is why cocky males who vastly overestimate their own intelligence have such a huge advantage when it comes to women. It hardly matters how attractive and intelligent you are when you *see* yourself as such. In this sense, men being aware of their own shortcomings becomes a great handicap. But it would be pointless for these intelligent young men to try to “unlearn” their inadequacies and wear the mask of the cocky, successful men around them. This comes back to what Kingfish said in the article: “one must tear down those fronts, admit to themselves who they are, and only then will that person begin to grow”. Forget about wearing the “front” of the cocky men around you. You must realize that you *are* better than the people around you. Only then will you actually *be* better than the people around you.

    This circles back to what I said about how men tirelessly improving their appearance physically is a strategy that can backfire spectacularly. Here is why. As men pour hundreds of hours into intense physical exercise over the course of months or years, spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on high quality and well-fitting clothes, and tirelessly look for ways to groom themselves to the best of their ability, they may experience little to no improvement in their social or sexual life during that time. Meanwhile, they will see other males around them with ugly faces, flabby bodies, ragged facial hair, and gaudy clothes, experiencing success with women that are orders of magnitude beyond their own success. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. These men end up feeling duped. Scammed. The sense of injustice at some point becomes crippling, and the entire strategy comes crashing down. Their self esteem is in ruins, and their social and sexual success can reach an all time low, even while their physical attractiveness reaches an all time high. All of this because they were given advice to improve their appearance that, while valid, was not proportionate to the other advice that they should have received. They should have been told to focus 80% on their personality, and 20% on their appearance. Instead, many men get the formula backwards, leading to disaster.

    I want to wrap up this comment by addressing an earlier point I made: “These young men look around and see men who are socially and sexually successful, but are also loud, boorish, have an I.Q. around 70. ” This unfortunately becomes these intelligent young males’ idea of a manly, dominant personality. They associate these unfortunate qualities with success, and assume that they must adopt them in order to succeed. This is wrong. Having a manly, dominant personality does not mean that a man must be obnoxious, annoying, loud, or even have a deep voice. There are many examples of men who are none of these things, but are also incredibly attractive to women sexually, as well as attractive to men socially. Any intelligent young man reading this will know of many men who they find quite charming, and are also quite charmed by women. These men should simply pick one of these men for inspiration, and identify what it is about them that makes their personality so attractive. They should then take those qualities and apply it to their own personality, perhaps by practicing those qualities in front of a mirror. They should then take those personality traits out into the real world, and try to apply it wherever possible. It generally requires actions as bold as *gasp* waving and saying “hi” to strangers they cross paths with in public. This can take a lot of persistence and failed attempts, but it generally gets exponentially easier each time it is done. And believe me when I say this is the *only* way forward for a lot of intelligent, young men.

    You cannot overcome a personality deficiency through physical attractiveness alone. Not unless you are already in the 95th percentile of attractiveness to begin with. And if you are, you’re probably receiving so much attention from women to begin with that you don’t have any personality or self image problems anyway. But for everyone else, whether you’re in the 80th, 50th, or 20th percentile of male physical attractiveness, curing your broken personality is the way to cure the rest of your problems.

    Liked by 1 person

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